the end of a chapter never written.
drenched in emotion;
lost in heat.
and tell me,
when did my heart begin to beat?
overcome by desire;
the impetus of love.
my call is not answered
in this state of ease.
throw a veil over my heart;
my soul, my conscience
and every part of me
carved in your devotion.
it affects me not;
i say, it affects me not.
and yet my pulse grows stronger.
awkwardly louder,
i choose to ignore it.
for my hopes are hopes no longer,
but euphemism for a day
unmade.
and then you smile.
drenched in emotion;
lost in heat.
and tell me,
when did my heart begin to beat?
by: brin.
brin bit this at ; 9:13 PM
yay. haha. lit production camp rocked mann. haha. awesome. although i slept for abt 10 min the entire night/morning (i was dozing off during rehearsals. hee.), i still felt kinda hyper. (must have been the chocs i had at 3am in the morning.) hahha. aniwaees. was awesome. now im more sure than anythin that this play will rock everyone's socks. hell yeaa!! =)
oh yeaaa! and i love my class mann. we seriously need to have this 1A02 joke book. i can just picture it now. chocolate,sex and bananas - a compilation of snide remarks and twitty jokes. hahha. and as what isa said, we can devote a whollleee section to dennis. dennis-ism. hahhhaha.
aniwaees. crashed the whole afternoon. finally being able to sleep felt awesome. hahha. just remembered i have tons of homework to do. and some history presentation due on mondayyyyy. NOOOOO. =( i'll do it later. hee hee.
i have some blisters on my foot. have no idea how they got there. but its super pain! ARGH. u noe what. i feel my poetic juices running. (HAHAHAHA. that sounded badd.) i think i shall go write a poem later. provided i dont fall face flat on the keyboard. im sleepy again. hahah. see ya!
//.. passed out in our school clothes so we'll wake up in our sunday's best.
brin bit this at ; 8:42 PM
Thursday, July 28, 2005
i love maria. my council "installation" was good. hahahha. =) aniwaes.. i feel so freeee today! was an awesome-ly slack day after sch. felt great to take my time, go home at my own pace. hahha. yeaaaa! and tomorrow is lit production camp. heh. overnightttt. and it sounds funn. hee hee. but looks like im not goin to be getting any sleep. so i shant even bother to bring my sleeping bag. heh. oh crap. I HAVENT PACKED. argh. nvm. i'll do it later. hee.
and tomorrow i gotta go for some lammmmeeee dance thingggyyy. wahlau. i cant even dance lahh. i can only do da chicken dance. and even then, i dont look like a chicken. hmm. this brings back disturbing images of our graduation night last year. HAHAHA. oh heck i miss sjc and 4 faith and LD and lamerz uni. hahha. mann. GP lecture today was funn. HAHAHA. for all the wrong reasons. loll. me and lydia, being the kind ppl we are, wrote nabs a sweet love poem. SAY IT WITH ME NOW! AWWW. SO SWEEEETT! hahaha. speaking of which, jensen must be wanting to kill me after i sabo-ed him todae. HEE HEE.
aniwaes, i better remember to pack my hp charger. my hp batt power magically disappears after a few hours of sms-ing. HMPH. speaking of which, nabs just sms-ed. OH NO!! she is proposing ROYAL COUNCIL again! hahha. sorry. i think i read too much of history. and i bet u have no idea what im talking about, unless of course u study the french rev. hee hee. okay. so im in a good mood today. cz i do not feel pressured to do anything. yay. and the thought of my beloved unread harry potter bk next to my bed is very tempting as well.
ALTHOUGH mel has just kindly reminded me that we have GP homework due tomorrow. NOOOOOOO. u noe what. instead of giving us gp lectures, they should turn GP tutorials n lectures in what i call "NEWSPAPER READING TIME" haha. then we sit down n spend 2 periods reading the past week's nwspprs. isnt that bettterr? yay! maybe i should suggest that. hmm. okayy. fine. NEVERMIND.
haha. aighhts. its already 915 and im still bumming about online. okay. betta be off ta work. just when i thought i actually had NOTHING to do! ARGH. OH NO. i sense darker eyebags coming about. ARGH. sleep deprivatioooonnn. okay peeps, see ya! buhhh byeee! =)
//.. and you can see right through me, so let me go.
brin bit this at ; 8:51 PM
Sunday, July 24, 2005
aighhts. was typing out a very angsty entry last night when the damn pc shut down on me. hahha. this must be a sign reminding me not to bother about the immature people around us and also those who are just plain stupid. hahaha. IN FACT, i should thank them! YES. thats an EXCELLENT idea! haha.
sooooo..
In honour of your great contributions to the world and modern society, I would like to extend my gratitude and thanks to the following people for their achievements.
Firstly, I would like to thank the immature people and those who are just plain stupid for their hindsight and and childish behaviour. Thank you for giving the world BALANCE. Without you, the NORMAL people of the world would have no one to feel disgusted about.
Secondly, I would like to thank those of you who love to stick your asses into other people's lives n business simply for the fun of it. You are truly amazing. Thank you for making us realise that our lives are much more interesting and worth discussing as compared to your mundane and redundant one which revolves around rumours and bitching.
Thirdly, I would like to extend my many thanks to the hypocrites of the world. For those of you who spend half your life-span bitching aimlessly when you know very well that you are just as guilty as the rest of them. Thank you so much for helping us to see the extent of redundantness in your words.
So to these people, whoever you might be and wherever you are, from the heart of my bottom, THANK YOU. i love all of you and hope that you will continue to create that balance in the world which you are already doing a FANTASTIC job of ensuring. =)
`END.
hahaha. hmm. God teaches us to love your enemies. and i couldnt agree more. haha. as i always say, i dont hate people. i just immensely and intensely dislike certain ppl. hahha. so yes. but i genuinely wanna say thank you to all my friends n family who were there for me when i needed you guys most i love you all.
i wanna thank lydia for throwing a humongous toilet paper roll at me in the middle of the night, thanks you nabs for threatening to fart in my face when i was rolling and grumbling on the corridors of our school, mel for always being there for me when i need to bitch, geraldine for just being geraldine =) and isa for reminding me that not all my stars are fading away. =) hahaha. i love youuuuuu!
aighht. im off ta do my undone homework now. argh. hahha. anyway, BRIN IS BACCCCKKKKK!!!!! yeaaa. my focus is back! woohoo! see ya peeps! =)
//.. she knows its too late as we're walking on by.
brin bit this at ; 11:06 AM
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
it is 156 pm and i am HOME! YAY! can you believe it!? for da first time in a looonnngg while i am home before 7pm! hahha. aniwaeees. todae is SRJC-ians day! so HAPPY SRJC-IANS DAY! hahha. had a little problem with the shorts today. HAHAHHA. my class rocks lahh. hahha. oh yea!
yesterday was investiture! YAYYY! hahha. it was friggin awesome! =) yayyy! for soooo many different reasons. HAHA. okayy, aniwaess, just wanna say that i still love my 18thhhhh! yay! hahha. lets do everything we said we'd do aighhts? love ya guys! =) and to the 17th, you guys rock my socks as well! yayyyy! okay. im about to burst into a council cheer now so i better stop. (quote: in JOSHUA's voice: siga saga siga saga!) HAHAHA.
aighhts. i cant wait for mel n louisa to upload the pics. hahha. oh crap. my mum told me i looked like crap this morning. the stupid stress has given me friggin eyebags and made my face look like a friggin pimple plantation. ARGHHHHHH. BUTTT, i shall go catch up on my lost sleep soon. i cannot wait til production ends. then maybe i will have "slightly" more sleeping time. HAHHA. aighhts. see ya peeps! love love! =)
//.. she fell in love in the first place.
brin bit this at ; 1:57 PM
Saturday, July 16, 2005
i am in a good mood today! yay! haha. hmm. just got back from invest. rehearsal. superrr tiredd. suffering from lack of sleep. HAHA. but im feelin happy n i dunno why. haha. am moderately excited about tues! yay! hee. the day of reckoning is finally coming! wheeeee. hahha. too bad rach cant come. didnt realise only 2 ppl per college were invited. oh wells. haha. the welfare comm's cheer is in my head now. hahaha. its damn cute lahh. love them! =) yay!
aighhts. so i was sposed ta go to baybeats tonight but am just too friggin tiredd to even move. haha. bt i think we're goin out for dinner later. heh. oh crap. i just remembered that we have some kinda homework to pass up on monday. but the friggin problem is, is that i cant remember what the hell it is. aye. nevverrrminnd.
okie dokes. am tired n bored. haha. shall go lie down on the bed and stone for a while. haha. see ya peeeeps! =)
//.. 18th SC welfare comm, welfare comm, welfare comm! 18th SC welfare comm, welfare is the best! la la la la lalala, lalala, la la la!! yay! =)
brin bit this at ; 5:12 PM
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
today, brin will be teaching all of you a very important lesson. please turn to page 33 of your textbooks. yes. its called THE ART OF MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS. or in other words as commonly known to many, the art of not stepping into other people's crap. =) now, as many of you have known by now, it is not very "pleasant" if this process is carried out. this is mainly because it will result in the eventual stage of nervosa-pissy-offus or in other words, the extreme discontent of the person involved. nervosa-pissy-offus could also lead to the involved person experiencing certain strange emotions such as the condition of condensi-killus-the-fuckeresa or the extreme hatred against certain parties. so my dear students, if you are wise, you will highly abide by this extremely essential art of behaving.
HAHA. like my use of latin? heh. sorry. i just have to do some ranting today. since i have not complained in ages about anythin. but yea. to tell u the truth, im sick of controlling my temper and stopping myself from saying what i actually want to. i have a very high tolerance level but some ppl have been really ticking me off and pushing me to my limit. their friggin attitudes have disgusted me TOTALLY. i do not like the person who their attitudes have driven me to become, or rather, are driving me to become. their immaturity and PLAIN STUPIDITY disgusts me.
aighht. but enought about that. no point wasting my time on stupid matters like these. haha. but i just felt like it was finally time to say what i feel. and i realise that many of u still have no idea what im talking about, (haha.) but thats aighht. those who do will understand. =)
anyways, went fer welfare camp/briefing thingy today. the more i see my comm, the more faith i have in the 18th. i sense big things to come. =) haha. I LOVE YOU 18th! =) okayy. im done complaining for today. buhh byee!
//.. dancing in the moonlight. =)
brin bit this at ; 8:43 PM
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
aniwaeeess. woke up today with a friggin achin headache. hurt like hell so went ta see the doc. haha. first time ive not gone to school in a looooonnnnnggg time. heh. it feels good to be finally wearing somethin else other than my sch u. hahha. mann. i nearly overslept today. was sposed ta get up at like 8 and then zoom off to the docs, but i forgot to set the alarm so i slept until 930+ til i was awoken (HAHA.) by nabbs n lydia. hahah.
OH YEAH. found out some "disturbing" details yesterday. wth. aniwaes, i shall just not think about it. from today onwards, i shall be totally OBLIVIOUS to anything involving ME. HMPPH. (p.s. oblivious is an awesome word. hahaha. right ryann? =) ) hahha. aniwaee. i was supposed to do something but i forgot. hmmm. oh yea. my damn econs hmwork! ARGH. nvm. shall go do it in a while. OMG. its doing to rain!! i wanna go back to sleep!!! *YAWWWNNN* brin, you are such a bumm. haha.
okayy. so im done being deranged todae. dunno what else to blog about since my life has become so un-interesting. (HAHA.) mann. the house is like damn quiet now. cz every1's gone ta work/sch. im so used to someone nagging on one side of my ear and someone irritating me on the other. HAHA. oh wellll. cant wait fer sat. YAY! baybeattsss! hopefully i have enough strength in me to get my lazy ass off and get goin. haha. okies. gtg. see ya peeeeppss! =)
//.. for what its worth, you know i loved you. for what its worth, you know i cared.
brin bit this at ; 11:18 AM
Sunday, July 10, 2005
hahhaha. sorry. just thought of a new nickname today. HAHA. lydia has kindly given me the inspiration. okayy. so aniwaes, am friggin tiredd today. (just like i am everyday) and im goin to wake up at 7 am in the morn 2mro to go jogging! this is my plan to avoid seeing that scary old man that always overtakes me. HMPH. the muscles on his legs are scary mann. he must have been sum kinda athlete cz they're all saggy n stuff. HAHAHA. sorry. too graphic. heh.
aniwaes, ive been scarily thirsty today. have no idea how many cups of water i have drunk. and i think i kinda overdid the glucose this evening. HAHA. mel got the brunt of my high-ness. heh. aniwaes, i gtg. super sleepy. yawning all over the place. HAHA. oh yeaa. i have a very IMPORTANT message before i go:
TOMORROW IS THE DAY AFTER TODAY.
HAHAHA. my bro is so lame. my dad asked him to go do something. and he was like "i'll do it tomorrow lahh." and then my dad said, "YEAH RIGHT. and when exactly is tomorrow supposed to be?" and my bro said "tomorrow is the day after today." HAHAHHA. spasticcc. hahha. okay, ive fallen asleep on the keyboard. ZZzZZzZz. brin loves you! GOODNIGHT!
//.. i never asked for your opinion. i just got it, and i get it.
brin bit this at ; 12:03 AM
Thursday, July 07, 2005
brin is in for deep shit trouble!!! (courtesy of nabs.) haha. DIE LAHH. AM I MEAN? im not mean whattt. CRAPPP. maybe its coz im always stoning? hahhaha. aiya. sometimes i seriously wonder how i manage to get myself into all this trouble. aye. OH NO. i think this is a sign for me to stop stoning so much. haha. damn.
ayyeee. today really sucked mann. was friggin pissed the wholllleeee day with everything. from the moment i stepped into school til the moment i came home n had a nice long afternoon nap. HMMM. sleep is good. haha. aighhts. feel friggin tiredd. and the thought of staying in sch til 9+ tomorrow is not very encouraging. hafta rush off after sch, and then come back for a meeting and then off ta rehearsal. ARGH. school=my life. thats kinda sadd. but what to do. i asked for it.
anywayyyss, i think im feelin much better now. so to geraldine n nabs, thanks u guys for listening to me moan n groan about everythin. i appreciate it a lot. =) aye. i want this week to end now. some things just suck. but i'll get over this. ive been thru worse anyways. sighh. aighhts. its times like these i wish i was back in sjc, talkin crapp with L.U. at the benches during recess or just slackin n watchin movies at marissa's house after sch or at some stupid LD meeting where we'd just have fun doin whatever it is we're always doing. I MISS SJC!!!! hahhha. brin is deprived. aighhts. i better go. see ya peeps.
//.. the end of a chapter never started.
brin bit this at ; 10:15 PM
Monday, July 04, 2005
this has successfully been one of the MOST, if not THE MOST laziest weekends of my life. haha. i slept practically the whole of these past two days and im friggin amazed at just how much one can sleep. hee. ooh! phone! haha. okayy, that was rach. miss those dimwits loads. hahahha. =) anyway, back to my lazy weekend. haha. so yea, i slept for 2 entire days without moving my ass to do any work. bt i just finished one history essay! YAY! two more to go. haha. and i havent read my econs notes yet. ARGH.
im beginning to feel that this "terror is virtue" thingy for econs is not working. it just seems to be freakin everyone out. HMM. but it seems to be kinda effective in some ways lahh. wth am i sayin. NEVERMIND. haha. okayy. lydia just scanned in the pics we took that day. this is my fave pic mann. ahhaha. and i cant believe we spent so much money on neoprints. bloody bumms. HAHAHA. TWITS. harhar.
okay. so as u can see, we are clearly arts students. hahah.
mann. 2mro i wanna go out but i gotta stay home n be a good girl n do my homework. SIGHH. nvm. i'll go for a jog in the evening. i wanna go explore new places. heh. i shall try to figure out how to get to that park connector thingy i saw yesterday in the cab. hmm. hopefully i wont get lost. i think i suck at directions mann. that day i was in the bus with mubs, nabs n lydia. and then mubs said, "look! ur brother's school." and then he pointed to some school. and i was like, "NOOO. that is a primary sch lahh." but then i looked closer and i realised it was my bro's school. =x
OH CRUD. im probably the only person who can get lost in my own neighbourhood. haha. and believe me, i can even get lost in school. u can just ask mel for the evidence. hahha. righhhts. okay. for some reason i am lookin forward to school on tuesday. altho right now i have no idea why. esp since we have so much hmwork due on tuesday. HMM. THIS MUST BE A SIGN!
OH YAHH. and my mum read out my horoscope for me yesterday from them newsppr. it said sumthin like theres been sumone watchin over me all this while, and im gonna find out who that person is soon! HAHAHHAA. so bloody lame. must be my stalkers. (HAHA.) aye. at least im not isa. haha. damn. u noe what. i think im going to delete THAT name off my hp address book. cz the more i look at it, the more i am tempted to send sum sort of crappy msg. HAHAHA.
okayy. so its like 115 am right now n my dad jz came out and scolded me. yikes. i think he's goin to pull the pc plug out. gaahhh. see yoouu peeps! brin loves ya! =)
//.. sooner or later, you're gonna hate her.
brin bit this at ; 12:06 AM
Friday, July 01, 2005
i found my dad's stash of candy in the fridge. MUAHAHA. and he thought he could hide it from me! HAHA. THINK AGAIN! yay. okayy. aniwaes, the mid yrs are overrrr!! YAY! my mind suddenly feels lighter. heh. okayy. so here's a quick update on the past week.
BAD THINGS
1. im suffering from a lack of sleep. (ie: sleep deprivation) oh yea. dont u think deprivation is an awesome word? haha. ok. NEVERMIND.
2. was damn stressed up over the lame tests.
3. the lack of sleep and stress has given me eyebagggsss. and stupid friggin pimples on my face. (NOOOOOOO!!!!)
GOOD THINGS
1. YAY! PATRICK STARR! =) *beams*
2. PATRICK STARR!!!
3. more PATRICK STAR!
4. did i mention i was going to forget PATRICK STARR? hahaha. =x
okayy. so anyway, this week has been crap and bloody tiring. but i will make up for my lost sleep (HAHA. lost sheep! err.) and wake up in the late afternoon tomorrow. YAY. haha. okies. me n mel are now planning a way to test just how effective is the MESSAGE RELAY SYSTEM in our sch. HAHAHAHA. stupid plan but this is sure to work. teehee.
ohh yahhhh. i just realised that ive been smiling to myself for no reason this week. haha. ok lahh, got reason. but stiilll! haha. i was like stoning in malay class and suddenly nabs said, "oi! stop smiling lahh!" hahha. FINE. and that day at the canteen also. heh. i think im goin insane. aye. NEVERMINNNDD.
omg. im so sleepy now. *yawwnnn* and its only 837pm. i think i shall go take sum glucoseee. mmm. haha. im braindead now. cant think of anything to say. ok. goin to stare blankly at my pc screen for a while. see yooouuu! =)
//.. im lying just to keep you here.
brin bit this at ; 8:05 PM
Slowdance on the Inside - Taking Back Sunday
passed out in our school clothes
so we'd wake up in our Sunday's
best
I never asked for your opinion,
I just got it and I get it
You move slow like daytime drama
And I'm boring like his songs
So while I'm taking you for granted
We'll be humming along
Well
I'm lying just to keep you here
So reckless (so reckless), so,
So thoughtless (so thoughtless)
So careless, I could care less
Well cross my heart and hope to...
I'm lying just to keep you here
(So reckless)
Well she's so heartless,
And I could care less
So paint your face up something elegant
And this town may be a darker shade of red
Cause a long night means a fist fight
Against your pillow and my pearly whites
I want to hear you scream you like me better on my knees
So let us pray
(we don't believe in second chances)
So let us pray
Don't you ask me
Don't you move (anywhere)
Cross my heart and hope to
I'm lying just to keep you here
So reckless (so reckless), so,
So thoughtless (so thoughtless)
So careless, I could care less
Well Cross my heart and hope to
I'm lying just to keep you here
(So reckless)
Well she's so heartless
And I could care less
Well cross my heart and hope to
I'm lying just to keep you here (I'll keep you here, I'll keep
you here)
One of us never did it but we're taking it all.
And tell me why you never promised that you wanted it all.
And her eyes never batted when she said it
It's a long night, open, know it...
This glass house is burning down (open all night, know it...)
You light the match, I'll stick around (open all night, know
it...)
I'll give you everything you want (open all night, know it...)
And wish the worst of what I was (open all night, know it...)
This glass house is burning down (open all night, know it...)
You light the match, I'll stick around (open all night, know
it...)
I'll give you everything you want (open all night, know it...)
And wish the worst of what I was (open all night, know it...)
Tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Well tonight won't make a difference
Well tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Well
brin bit this at ; 7:42 PM